0GB USB
Zero capacity, maximum disappointment. Perfect for storing nothing.
$5.00
0GB Ethernet Cable
Guaranteed to crash your internet when plugged in. Data not included.
$9.99
Virus-Loaded MacBook
A premium Apple rig preinstalled with malware, spyware, and chaos.
$3,333.00
Glitched Smartwatch
Acts like a time bomb. Notifications never stop and battery never lasts.
$99.99
Chat GPT University Mug
Drink your conspiracy in style. Comes with a free paradox.
$15.00
Chat GPT University T-Shirt
Show off your degree in computational sarcasm.
$24.00
Certified IT Professional Sticker Pack
Four stickers for every broken printer and glitchy server.
- “Have you tried turning it off and on again”
- “I void warranties professionally”
- “I fix printers by glaring at them”
- “DNS is down again (probably)”
The 1-Pixel Monitor™
A single LED on a stick. Claims 8K HDR 144Hz. Actually displays one pixel.
$67.67
Definitely Not Malware.exe USB
Classic social engineering storage with definitely no hidden payload.
$14.99
Wi-Fi Extender
It’s just a rock. Absorbs negative energy and boosts placebo signal.
$50.00
RGB Makes It Faster Shirt
Performance fashion for anyone who believes lighting affects processors.
$22.00
Thermal Paste Chapstick
Cool your CPU, moisturize your soul. It’s weird, but it works... maybe.
$11.00
Anti-Virus Spray Bottle
Just water... or it eliminates 99.9% of cyber threats.
$9.50
Overclocked Candle
Smells like burnt plastic, hot GPU, and regret.
$24.62
Explosive Performance SSD
Looks normal. Write speeds so fast they’re dangerous.
$74.99
404 Brain Not Found Hat
The perfect cap for anyone who has lost their train of thought.
$19.00
Fork Sock
Slip them on and instantly feel like you’ve just accidentally nuked a production server at 3 AM. Perfect for developers, hackers, and anyone who enjoys living dangerously… from the ankles down.
$15.99